glishara: (Default)
Guerrilla only has one chapter left.

ONE.

And then it is done.

I kind of can't believe I'm this close to finishing a novel-length fic. I made some mistakes along the way, but I will live with them because I know I would never have finished without the support of the reviewers along the way. I will learn from them and try not to duplicate them in the future. But... man. ONE MORE CHAPTER.

I can't decide what I want to write next! It's very strange!
glishara: (Default)
Yeah, okay, so this chapter is going a bit better.

2000 words in and counting, from just today. I'm going to go for another 30-60 minutes, because I'd really like to finish the massive scene that will make up most of the chapter, but I feel good about today.
glishara: (Default)
So, I am plugging along in Guerrilla now; I'm in the last scene of chapter 17, and have 2 chapters remaining after this. The structure of the next chapter is really firmly established, but chapter 19 will be a little more, um, flexible. I don't want the wrap-up to stretch more than one chapter, but there's a lot I want in there. I may end up punting some of it and working it into the sequel. We'll have to see.

This is being crazytime for me lately, which is why I haven't been writing very quickly. Back to work means around 45+ hours a week where I'm not writing because I'm either working or commuting, and there have been conferences for Wes and his new every-other-week therapy sessions and doctor's appointments and all kinds of mess.

Last weekend was Halloween, and we did tons of fun stuff with the kids despite a raging tooth infection that had me halfway to laid up. This weekend was my cousin Laura's wedding, in which Lorrie was a flower girl. We spent the night in a hotel up there. Leading up to it, I was doing crazy knitting work to finish the afghan I made for them as a wedding gift. So things have been... crowded.

Also, today is Sebastian's birthday. ONE YEAR OLD. Crazy.

I'm adding some pics because I want to get back to writing Guerrilla instead of this entry. ;)

Pics! )
glishara: (Default)
I am really cranky at the amount of homework I have to do for Wes's class.

I mean, I get that it's important to be involved with your kid and help him and all that stuff, but I've spent the last fifteen minutes cutting things out of card stock, and am less than a third done. And I'm not even working with him. This project is, "Cut out this floor puzzle from the card stock, then help your child color it." I need to spend time -- valuable free time -- being APART from my kids in order to complete this task.

It makes me cranky. It's a really stupid floor puzzle, too.

Bullying

Oct. 28th, 2010 01:14 pm
glishara: (Default)
With all this talk in the media lately about bullying, specifically in relation to LGBT youth, but also in general, it's jumping out at me that the real reason that none of this shit will ever be successful is that it always looks at it from the wrong perspective: that of the victims.

It's fantastic to tell the victims of bullying that people understand and sympathize. It's great to talk about how to deal with bullies, or to teach parents how to recognize that their kids are being bullied.

But what we really need is a focus on how to stop kids from BEING bullies. Bullies aren't necessarily bad kids, and they're not always even aware that they're doing it. But that's what we need to be targeting. Teach parents how to recognize not that their kids are being bullied (although that's important, too), but that their kids are bullying others. Send out information about why kids bully and other methods of conflict resolution.

The problem is that we've become so obsessed with saving face and being perfect that parents can't or won't accept that their kids will ever be bullies. It's the same emotional response that makes people get defensive and rude on the internet when they accidentally say something offensive. Rather than saying "I'm sorry, I didn't realize that was offensive, I won't do it again," they say, "How dare you call me a racist; I'm a good person!" as if "good" was a black and white, immutable thing.

"Good person" does not mean "never wrong." "Good child" does not mean "perfect." It certainly doesn't mean, "immune to peer pressure." I look at Lorrie today, and I absolutely know that at some point in her life, she will bully another child. Not because she's a bad kid, but because she's strong-willed and stubborn and likes to have her way. And at some point, someone will frustrate her by not doing or being what she wants them to be, and she'll respond in a hurtful way. Teaching her not to do that to others is way more useful than teaching her victim how to respond when she does it.

My local school district has had a link to "Bullying Resources for Parents" prominently on their web page for months. And all of the material in it is about resources for the parents of the bullied. "How to avoid cyberbullying." "How to respond to cyberbullying if it's already happened." "How to talk to your child about being bullied." "Protect your child from social network bullying."

It's the same damn logic that is applied over and over again to sexual harassment and rape issues: "Teach your daughter how to avoid date rape." It's never, "Teach your son how to avoid date rape," because no one wants to believe that their son would ever do that. We don't teach kids what's expected of them in terms of good behavior anymore.

I am cranky and frustrated.
glishara: (Default)
Things annoying me today:

1. The need to finish the kids' Halloween costumes. Next time I say, "Oh! I'll make them myself!" someone please shoot me. Lorrie is going as a fairy, Wes as a fire truck. Yes, a fire truck. Not a fireman. I am going crazy. Lorrie's costume is almost done. I am using this pattern and doing the one on the bottom right in very different colors. I think I need to add more leaves to the neckline and waist and then I'll be done. Wes's costume is driving me nuuuuts. It's a big box, which I'm covering in colored felt and... all kinds of craziness. I probably have 3-4 hours of work left on it.

2. I forgot my headphones heading into work, and have a day of frequent searches, each of which take 4-5 minutes. My day is basically running in 20-second bouts of work separated by 4-minute intervals of staring at a screen and wishing I were watching more Stargate on Hulu.

3. My only cubicle buddy is out all this week.

4. The internet is insufficiently entertaining today.

5. I am stalled out on chapter 17 of Guerrilla, so cannot even effectively work on that to kill time.

6. 30 minutes until I can leave.
glishara: (Default)
Oh my goodness.

Jupiter is so gorgeous outside today. I actually dragged the telescope out and set it up so the kids could have a look. It's some of the clearest sky I've seen outside of icy winter; I could make out all 4 moons as very distinct pinpricks. I'm almost tempted to start hunting for other objects in the sky, except I'd need to remember how to align the thing and find coordinates for that.

It's so gorgeous, though. I'm leaving the telescope out for a few more hours to see if I can see the red spot transit before I go to bed.

Crankiness

Oct. 15th, 2010 10:37 am
glishara: (Default)
I am irrationally cranky today.

I think it is runover from yesterday. Yesterday was one of those days when everything happened just a bit wrong, without anything being dramatically bad. While I tried to get out of the house in the morning, I could not get my laptop to shut down. Everything kept freezing up, and it took me over ten minutes to save everything and get moving. Traffic was bad; work was a series of petty frustrations; traffic was bad on the way home.

I walked in the door to find Sebastian screaming and needing to nurse immediately, and the other two kids running around screaming while Peter tried to get dinner on the table. Then the kids needed baths, and the baby fussed intensely while Peter put the other two kids down to bed. It was something like 8:15 before I finally got a breather, and then I slept poorly.

So today I am generally fussy and sulky and pouty, for no good reason, and it's creeping into my work. It doesn't help that I just had to do a 17-minute compile, which keeps grinding my momentum to a halt.

Bah. Well, weekend tomorrow. And I get to write more!
glishara: (Default)
So, chapter 15 of Guerrilla is now done, and I am in the final stages of that fic. It's so odd to think about, that I've actually written 64,000 words in a single story, with thematic ideas and threads that weave through the entire piece. I will probably write more about it later, talking about what I view as major ideas and how the story came together for me and how I read comments along the way, but for now, I'm just amazed that I've gotten this far.

Writing Ivan like this has been a real adventure for me. I feel like his voice has come and gone, and part of that, as I reread Bujold to look for him, comes down to the fact that Ivan's voice in the canon books is less about how he says things than it is the things he says themselves. And I am pushing Ivan beyond all the responsibility-dodging and impossibilities, and forcing him to man up. Accordingly, a lot of his manned-up dialogue has been tricky for me.

Berenice has been a similar problem. I cannot avoid the fact that she is in a total Mary-Sue position -- an original character brought in to become a major character and marry my canon lead. Keeping her real and flawed without making her somehow less than the canon characters with whom she needs to mesh has been a challenge.

Chapter 15 was really interesting for me to write, because I realized along the way that other than Ivan, there were only six lines of dialogue spoken by canon characters, and a whole lot resting on my OCs. It is interesting to me that I keep forgetting who are my canon characters and who are my OCs. Berenice and her family I always remember are OCs, but I keep thinking Dy Vorinnis and General Vortala are canon characters, or that Martin Kosti is an OC. The lines have become very blurry in my head. And of course, some of them really do skirt that line. Berenice and Thomas are obviously OCs, but their parents are there in canon (though I've fleshed them out a lot), and almost certainly would have children.

At any rate, it's been a crazy adventure, and it's strange to think this fic will almost certainly be finished before Halloween. Maybe I can do the sequel for NaNo! (Hahahahano.)
glishara: (Default)
So, writing Guerrilla has totally changed the way I think about writing. It's really strange. It used to be that I wrote fics which all hovered in the 1500-2500 range, with lots of detours into 1000 or 3000 words, but never much more. Hydra-Headed was a departure, but it was a big story, and worthy, I thought, of a little novelette. Now, it seems like every fic idea I have demands a novel. I keep getting BIG ideas, with all these little detours and winding side paths and new characters and plots for minor characters. Today, I had no fewer than three fic ideas, each one of which would need at least 15K words to even BEGIN dealing with properly. It's very strange.

One of them is a Jane Austen fanfic, from Mansfield Park. One is from Robin McKinley's Sunshine. The other was another Vorkosigan story. But I also kind of want to write a sequel to Guerrilla. It's crazypants. Where did all my little fic bunnies go?

Guerrilla

Oct. 2nd, 2010 06:42 pm
glishara: (Default)
Yeah, that chapter was just kicking my ass. I'm already 1300 words into chapter 13, and it sounds like me again, instead of like Oh-God-Can-I-Finish-This-Chapter-Already-And-Do-Something-Else-Please-Please.

I do not know what it was about that last chapter, but it hated my guts pretty intensely.

I feel like I should start posting this stuff to the Vorkosigan community here on DW, but I am scared.

I think I am going to have something on the order of 18-19 chapters (plus the prologue), which probably means this will end up at around 75-80K words. That is a good length, I think. I am wrestling now with the problems of third-person limited POV for the description of a 60-prong attack in which my POV character really shouldn't participate. Hmm.
glishara: (Default)
Dear [personal profile] glishara,

Stop looking for things to write on [community profile] fic_promptly. Write chapter 12 of Guerrilla. You will not magically get to skip it and jump to chapter 13 if you put it off long enough. It needs to happen. WRITE IT.

Yours sincerely,
[personal profile] glishara

I think Ivan's mind-numbing exhaustion is starting to seem into my own brain when I try to write him. Must finish.
glishara: (Default)
Title: Art History
Author: [personal profile] glishara
Fandom: Vorkosigan/White Collar
Word Count: 2300
Summary: When Neal Caffrey shows up at an Imperial art exhibit, Simon Illyan knows he's being played.

I kind of can't believe I just wrote this, since it is crazy in lots of ways I don't usually go in for. But it was crossover day at [community profile] fic_promptly, and this was the only prompt where I knew both canons. I was embarrassed by my lack of fandom breadth. So I wrote it.

Art History

pianoforte

Sep. 29th, 2010 10:57 am
glishara: (Default)
So, I entered myself in the [livejournal.com profile] help_pakistan auction, and was bid upon and won by [livejournal.com profile] prozacpark, who is a really fascinating blogger whom I'm glad I found. She requested Jane Fairfax/Frank Churchill fic, from Jane Austen's Emma, and I have finally completed and posted it.

It got a bit away from me, I have to admit. I had initially envisioned it at around 2000 words, and it ended up expanding and changing until it finally weighed in at just under 7500. It's my first Jane Austen fanfic, and was a lot of fun to write.

So, without further ado:

Title: pianoforte
Author: [personal profile] glishara
Word Count: 7450
Fandom: Jane Austen - Emma
Characters: Jane Fairfax/Frank Churchill
Summary: Glimpses behind the curtains of Jane Fairfax and Frank Churchill's romance, in six movements.

pianoforte

Fandoms

Sep. 23rd, 2010 09:00 pm
glishara: (Default)
I really don't write fanfic very broadly. In my life I've written only a handful of fandoms, and only two of them contain probably 90% of my fanfic (those being the Vorkosigan books and Harry Potter). I was mulling on that today because I am writing for a new fandom for my [livejournal.com profile] help_pakistan fic, and whipped up a quickie in another new fandom for the [community profile] fic_promptly community.

I pride myself on my depth of understanding of worlds, and I tend to feel out of my depth in new fandoms for that reason. I think if I reduce it to its core, I feel like I'm not really good at writing fanfic, I'm good at writing Vorkosigan stories. Or Harry Potter. I get very timid about branching out.

I'm not really sure why I'm posting this, except that I've been writing four (four!) fics in parallel today, sometimes literally writing two sentences in one, a sentence in another, a paragraph in the third, six words in the second, jumping around crazily. And with TOTALLY UNRELATED fandoms, too. I feel a little bit dizzy. But I'm at a bit of a break point now, and so am mulling on what I've done.

I've written fic for:
Bujold - Vorkosigan
Bujold - Chalion
Weber - Honor Harrington
Kay - Tigana
Rowling - Harry Potter
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I've written bits of a half-dozen others, but nothing I ever got seriously close to finishing, I think. I need to start branching out.
glishara: (Default)
Okay, so this is a long shot, but.

Help me, friends list!

My son is talking a lot about skin color, and saying, "There are two skin colors. Mine is called pink and the other is called tan." I am trying to talk to him about the range of possibilities, but would love a photographic resource to actually show him the range of colors that are available, with people of all different races. I can't seem to find one, though. All the things I can find just have a range of dark to pale and in between, without much ethnic variety.

Does anyone know of any resources like that?
glishara: (Default)
For anyone who hasn't yet caught this story, Ines Sainz is a sports reporter from TV Azteca who is reporting that she was sexually harassed by Jets players when she went to conduct a locker-room interview of Mark Sanchez on Saturday.

Ines Sainz is an attractive woman trying to make it in a male-dominated field. She came to watch the Jets practice so that she could interview Mark Sanchez, who is of particular interest to the Mexican network for which she works. At the practice, she was noticed: the defensive backs coach targeted the area near her so his players would have a chance to jog over and say hi. And when she went into the locker room, she was verbally harassed.

You can imagine the response from the public to this fiasco, I'm sure. Clinton Portis made a public statement that she had to have been ogling the men, and that being in the locker room at all was a sign that she wanted attention, that it was the expected result. When he apologized, people started decrying the overly PC nature of the NFL. I don't know about you guys, but when I think of sports coverage in the US today, I don't think "overly PC". Anyone?

People are now saying that because Ines Sainz dresses provocatively or "unprofessionally", she had no right to respect and should have expected this result. They are saying, again, that women don't belong in the locker room (disregarding the fact that this right is supported by several key legal cases, and applies equally to male reporters in women's locker rooms), that she was asking for it.

Here is the fundamental fact of the TV news industry. Men don't need to be attractive to compete there. Women do. And women's attractiveness, to sports fans, is enhanced by low-cut tops. Is it unfortunate? Maybe, maybe not. The point is that Ines Sainz is trying to compete in a world where the deck in already stacked against her. And when she makes the decision to use what advantages she has, she's written off as unprofessional.

Let me tell you, if I were a sports reporter, I would not particularly relish the idea of going into the locker room, of being surrounded by half-naked men who are all enormously larger than I am and charged with the energy of a practice of a game. I would be AFRAID, and intensely uncomfortable. But I would do it anyway, because if you want to succeed in the world of sports reporting, you need to get those locker room interviews, and you need to show that you can do everything that the men can do. That's part of being a professional. And that's what Ines Sainz did.
glishara: (Default)
Must write Guerrilla. Am falling behind. Chapter 9 is still only half done, and I am supposed to be a third of the way done with chapter 10 already. Also, I think I am going to need to post chapters 10 and 11 at the same time, so my readers do not kill me. And I would rather give a 6-day gap after chapter 11, not chapter 9.

But I keep wanting to write Alys/Princess Kareen slash instead.

Or White Collar fic.

Or (and this is embarrassing) random Berenice fic from her childhood.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, SELF?? CETAGANDAN INVASION. Get with it.

Fic: Safe

Sep. 8th, 2010 09:19 pm
glishara: (Default)
Title: Safe
Words: 600
Fandom: Bujold - Vorkosigan Saga
Summary: Kareen has so many protectors. Surely they can keep her safe.


Safe

Dreamwidth!

Sep. 1st, 2010 03:04 pm
glishara: (Default)
So, I've been meaning to get set up on Dreamwidth for a while, and now, here I am! I suspect I will be cross-posting most personal stuff, but one thing I've been wanting is to have a better forum for posting fic. My LJ friends list is not really fannish, I think, and I never like to spam people, so I tend to hold off on posting most of my stuff there. I suspect a lot more writing will find its way here, and I can explore some new fandoms and look for some communities. I'm not sure what I'll end up finding, but it should be fun exploring.

Profile

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